That which doesn't kill you

RIP.............

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 04:02:49 GMT

Thank you Richard Pryor for making people laugh for so many years. You were a True Comic Genious.

bad boy

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 03:31:45 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Monday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). In January I ruled Iran as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Tuesday I pulled evalynblack's hair (-5 points). Last week I committed genocide... Sorry about that, johnmc (-5000 points). Last Friday I gave imaprimate a Dutch Oven (-10 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-4323 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
greggster

White Christmas my ass..........

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 04:55:47 GMT

Ok.........so it's Monday and of course it's also back to work.

Today was set to be a full days work and then going back at night to finish the job....at least it was local.

Well fuck all that...we get a call around 10am that we need to head up to Redding yet again to finish up some punch list items.

Now I have yet to need extreame weather gear for work so of course i have none....today would have been a good day to have it.

We get up to Redding and it's fucking WHITE OUT SNOW CONDITIONS!!!! Lets just say it was the most brutal day of work i have had to experience.

For those unaware...I am a total pussy in the cold.....so I was not a happy camper today.

Shift started at 6am.....got home at 830pm....Im cold wet and exhausted.

If you will excuse me i really need to thaw out my man parts.....

yup still alive......

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 20:07:17 GMT

Well im still alive

Still doing the same shit.....its weird.
Every week is basically the same...work,eat,get drunk,sleep

ahhh well its my life i guess

a letter to myself...

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 01:16:36 GMT

Dear Greggster,

Stop getting all fucked up on jager and redbull and then talking to girls.....you end up sounding like a jackass!!!

Love always,

The Sober Greggster

i don't update this enough

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 01:32:06 GMT

because ....well im lazy
when there is something of substance i usually do poat it here...
just know that things are getting good desptie the fact that i still
listen to a shit load of emo...it is now strictly for entertainment and not to keep my misery company

I love this song....Finch kicks ass

What it is to burn

She burns

Today's on fire
The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered
I walk these lines of blasphemy, every day
And still:

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

I feel diseased
Is there no sympathy from the sun?
The sky's still fire
But I am safe in here, from the world outside

So tell me
What's the price to pay for glory?

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

Today is fire, and she burns
Today is fire, and she burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

wow...umm wow

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 14:53:13 GMT

Ok well the new house is awesome....it feels like home which is great. I haven't felt like I had a home in months.

I am getting DSL hooked up next week so we won't have to leech off of others and thus get booted off every 5 seconds.

I am spending the weekend in SF with a girly and some of my old SF peeps that will be awesome for sure. Can you say drunk as fuck at Lucky 13!!!

Let's see....what else...Oh I will be working up in Redding for the first half of the week. Lots of overtime and per diem means...LOTS O CASH!! hopefully.

I haven't talked to Charity in about 3 weeks.....it makes me sad some but perhaps it is for the best.

I have been talking to old friends a lot which is great

Psyche appointment is on the 18th as is a Therapy appointment.....medication here is come!!!

Wow...it actually looks like things are looking up....bout fucking time!!

YAY

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 09:51:40 GMT

Saw eyeamjamie tonight...she is beeeyutiful

I made her smile at least 4 maybe 5 times....I hope she had fun tonight

It was nice meeting her...I hope she had fun too

I took this from my offline journal...

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:31:39 GMT

Sunday July 24th 8:13pm

I really hate my emotions.....For all intensive purposes I should be feeling up today. I had a great night with an awesome friend but instead of feeling cheerful I feel empty.

Today I did what everyone says you should do to battle depression....I went to the bookstore and read, I took a walk, I played in the sprinkler and all the while I felt as though I am living my life as a hollow shell. I have so many good things in my life....amazing friends, a new place to live soon, supportive job and still my head is fucking me. The one thing missing in my life is the one thing that will never be there again.

I see the Psychiatrist on Tuesday....I am fully aware that he will not to provide me with the miracle cure...I just want to be able to enjoy life again....I mean truly truly enjoy life.

I want to be able to love again....I want to find joy in the little things again...shit...I just want to find joy again period.

I have thought recently about relocating....just packing up my shit and taking off.....starting over but I can't run away from my feelings.......
here we go again.

I just wanted to say....

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 04:33:57 GMT

thank you to my friends for being so supportive....from the bottom of my heart

well damn.....

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 18:27:15 GMT

For those of you that don't know.....I tried to take my life last weekend....obviously to no avail.

I have come to the conclusion that I can not live without help any longer....thus this week I will be seeing a Therapist and then a Shrink and getting back on my Meds after a six year absence ....I wish I could remember what it was like to be sane.

Thank you to those of you that have sent me encouragement....offered to hang out...or just be a friend.

And you thought you were nuts.....fuck you....I got you beat by a mile...haha

bro hymm.....

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 03:37:40 GMT

I just want to not feel anymore......I feel as If i became the worlds fool
with any luck I won't have to deal anymore.......

its been way too real.........

....

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 00:25:39 GMT

I'll be just fine
pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
and it's all that I've got

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:19:49 GMT

If I were alone in the desert
Without a drink of water around
With my knees and hands in that white scorching sand
With the hot Sahara, sun beating down

If I could be granted my wishes
Anything I want would come true
I know that it might sound funny
But here is what I want you to do

Tell Charity I love her
Tell Charity I need her
Tell her everything would be ok if I could just see her
Tell Charity I love her
Tell Charity I need her
And If I leave this old world tell her she's the only girl for me

If I were a drift on the ocean
A vessel with no sails or steam
Floating aimlessly on the endless sea
Hopelessly lost it would seem

If all of the fish in the water
Could echo my last dying plea
I know you might not understand it
But here's what I want it to be

Tell Charity I love her
Tell Charity I need her
Tell her everything would be ok if I could just see her
Tell Charity I love her
Tell Charity I need her
And if I leave this old world tell her she's the only girl for me
And if I leave this old world tell her she's the only girl for me

:(

...

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:43:12 GMT

this weekend my world fell apart.....

the pain is steadily getting worse........

fuck

Holy Shit

Fri, 20 May 2005 04:37:23 GMT

Man.........in less than three hours I will turn 36.....mother fuck!!

I can hardly believe how much time has past . It seems like only yesterday that I was a young slightly less jaded boy than I am now.

I can say that I don't think I would change anything...well maybe slept with a few girls I didn't and didn't with a few girls I did....but other than that...I am pretty glad I turned out as well I have.

Let's take a walk down the memory lane of my past year...

I quit a rewarding job of three years working with people with disablities because I just couldn't afford to stay there even though I loved it.

I moved to SF......it was one of the best months ever!!! tongue

I moved back to Sacto....I realized that for all of it's faults...it's home

I suffered my longest no job drought since I started working.

I landed the coolest fucking job ever.....And I make $$$$$$

I moved back into Midtown.....Oh man how I missed being here....I love the downtown so much!!!

I managed to hold on to the love of my life for another year!!!

I started playing music again
I stopped playing music again

I made new friends
I lost old ones

I found some gray hairs..
I bought some hair dye

I made a conscious effort to try to not be so hard on me.

I drank 138412840285848148158281 beers

I had 3 hangovers

I made my mom cry with happiness on Mothers day

I fell in love with my life for the first time in a long time!!!!

Thank you to all who played a part in it .....much love

and just like that...............

Mon, 09 May 2005 03:56:12 GMT

The Crawlspace reunion is over....I would have loved to get together and play somew Crawlspace songs for old times and possibly right some new ones too....but I don't have the money time or desire to go on in a "new" direction.....It was actually Jasson's idea to break ties with me and move on...I just happened to be on the same page with that.

Apologies to those who were looking forward to that.......i guess it wasn't meant to be.

so yeah.........

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 07:53:13 GMT

the new incarnation of Crawlspace rocked tonight...........we have our work cut out for us....but we may just be kicking your ass soon!!!

PS: im poor ....send money!

dammit

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 01:46:31 GMT

not having any work for a week and a half is seriously fucking with my wallet and my emotions....I hope things pick up like.......soon

Well damn....

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 06:38:02 GMT

Looks like tomorrow will begin the second coming of Crawlspace.

It seems like there are more than a few people that excited about this happening.

Either way it will be fun.

hoooooooooooooowah!!

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 05:08:34 GMT

I hate being sick.....luckily it looks like it is bout run it's course.

I am happy that Social D postponed the show....now I get another chance to see them :)

Ok on with the everyone does this on LJ poop....

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, I'd like for you to post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just as long as it happened. OH shit make it up if you have to :)

a bunch of shit...

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 06:41:25 GMT

I am a firm believer in the you reap what you sow line of thinking.

If you are think your shit doesn't stink....you will someday find out that is does.

If you treat friends like shit............you will probably end up friendless

If you think your job owes you shit....you will end up jobless

If you think you are the shit....you will wake one day to find you never really were.

Chances are really good that you are full of shit.

Hey.....I'm not dead and shit!

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 23:33:34 GMT

Damn, It has been a long time since I updated this thing.

SF was great and I loved it....but it just didn't work out. I guess it was a case of bad timing.

So I am back in Sacto for those that don't know. I landed a rad job building and rapairing cell sites. Yep I climb 80- 250 foot towers for a living.

I will also be living in Midtown at the end of Feb so expect me out more after that.

Hope all is well with you.

the first week...

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 01:27:50 GMT

Well the first week so far has been ok. I like the neighborhood I live in. I have been hanging out and exploring the City. The job search continues but will hopefully be resolved on Monday...wish me luck.

Hung out with a bunch of cool people and tonight is karaoke in Japantown which should be exciting.

Still some folks here I haven't seen but hopefully will remedy that soon.

I rode my bike to Golden Gate park today and then up to Ocean beach which was nice....

Ok I am off to watch a movie before singing my ass off

miss me and shit!

My last day at work....

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 16:12:23 GMT

Wow...it is really setting in.
Today is my last day at work after 3 years.
If you haven't ever worked with people with disablities its hard to describe how much they actually grab a hold of your heart.
It is a job that I can say without a shred of doubt I truly loved. It just wasn't financially viable for me.
There are so many I will miss...I mean shit.
I am sure I will break down in tears before the day is over.

As of Monday I will be unpacking in my new place in my new City....prolly freezing to death and scared as hell. I am going to give it my all and try to finally make things happen for me.
I will miss all of you that I have come to love in my many years here. Sacramento is home and it will ALWAYS be home.
Thanks for the memories!